On Pride (this is an entry from my journal today)

Why do I not want to depend on God in all things?

"It seems ridiculous"

That I need God's mighty strength to wash dishes seems ridiculous. I literally cannot will myself to do them similar to last year where I could not will myself to approach a stranger with the intent to share Christ. I have often, to my shame, judged others to be insincere in their prayers for God's strength for "small things." Now I need his might in ways I have never dreamed I would need.

Deep down, I desire to depend on God and need Him but the things I need Him for seem ridiculous. I "should" be able to do them on my own.
I "should" be able to do them on my own.

I- all about me
should- performance, works based thinking, religious, prideful
be able to- performance, identity in something I can "do", prideful
do- performance
them- them being something so ridiculous it is laughable that I would need assistance. It's dishes!
on my own.- pride, performance, works based thinking